Two Doors, No Map: Book 2 of the Waldlust Series by Ted Minkinow

Author:Ted Minkinow [Minkinow, Ted]
Language: eng
Format: epub
Publisher: Karl Publishing
Published: 2021-05-31T16:00:00+00:00

All right, maybe a bit dramatic. I didn’t smell brimstone and I didn’t see half-human red monsters with leathery wings capering about. And come to think of it, no fiery soul torturing.

Perhaps the word hell was an overstatement.

One moment I’d been kind of standing in an ancient, but German town square on a blustery German early-spring night. The next, I opened my eyes in a green rolling meadow with the world’s sexiest female lunatic sucking the air out of me with a kiss that would compel an entire monastery of silent Buddhist monks to shout for joy.

So, what am I complaining about? Uh, who’s complaining? It had worked. I’m not talking about Soyla’s kiss, my raw, sexual heat makes that kind of thing work every time…or maybe my sex-starved desperation. Same thing.

I digress.

As far as working, I meant the portal and the bagger gang’s strategy. Though, you’d need to ignore my throbbing walnuts to award the bagger gang a perfect score. Even so, I made it through the portal. So did Soyla. Granted, not part of the original plan, but she was there, so I’d need to adapt.

Oh, and the man who cleared his throat to interrupt the kiss? Balus. If I built my own hall of shame dedicated to people I wished I’d never met, Balus would be the statue in front of the building. Well, No Face could give Balus a strong challenge for that kind of top billing, but then non-human evil entities belonged in their own wing.

And who is Balus? Answer: The Roman soldier Rolf, Sparcius, and I killed two thousand years ago, causing the three of us became vampires. How do I still know his name? He introduced himself. After we killed him. True story. The battle continued around us and Sparky decided it would be chill to eat our slain enemy’s heart. Only Balus wasn’t quite slain, and eating the heart gave the three of us—Rolf, Sparky, and me—the condition we’ve suffered from since.

Last I’d seen, Balus was missing his head. Rolf severed it after we all sampled a piece of Balus’s heart. Might sound like overkill to lop a dead guy’s head off after you’ve cut out his heart. Not that time. We’d stabbed Balus about a dozen times and eaten his heart. Rather than die like a decent, honorable casualty, the dude started talking about us turning into immortal creatures.

It would be an understatement to say we three forest rubes nearly crapped our pants. So, Rolf beheaded him. End of story. Right? No. Balus kept blabbing, though we had to listen a little harder because the head landed several feet away.

In those days, the Romans considered the German Tribes as frenemies. Big mistake. We united to give the Romans a catastrophic defeat in that battle, and I took down my fair share of the enemy that day. I can still recall the jubilation I felt with each kill. Balus, though? He was one dude I regretted killing.

And it wasn’t the battle wounds that did him in.

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